Have Faith - Don't Let Doubt In!

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My first visit to my doctor, at 38 years old and pregnant was a bit disturbing.



The

doctor intruded on my enthusiasm

with this question:

"You are aware of the risks that a pregnancy at this age can bring?



Do you know what can happen in a pregnancy at this late age?"

It was actually a statement rather than a question. Looking back I can see that it was meant to invoke fear and doubt.

My first doctor's appointment was in early 1994, I was active in a 'twelve step'

fellowship program for treating alcoholsim and I was seven years into my

sobriety from alcoholism. My response, stated very calmly, as I looked into the doctor's eyes, was - "Yes."

In my mind was this thought,

"You don't know this, but I don't go on fear anymore. And I won't go with fear."

At that appointment I also discovered that - this wasn't considered a high risk pregnancy. So, the fear in my opinion,

wasn't rooted in fact. The option of seeing a midwife for the duration of the pregnancy, was offered and I jumped at it. This brought me the knowledge that I wouldn't have to live in this doctors' world of fear.

The opportunity of seeing a midwife seemed very attractive to me. And these visits went just fine, I never had to see the

doctor again in the regular visits.

Very early in my pregnancy I was in maternity clothes; I put on weight

(much water weight) very fast, and furiously! My midwife/friend never said a word. Luckily for her because I would have taken her head off. I'd done my best to eat as well as I could, I f

was

older,

which gave me knowledge to try and eat more healthy. But, nothing I could do kept that weight down. My thighs were the size of a small person's waist,

each one!

My wonderful midwife kept quiet about that.



At this writing it is August 2, 2013, so one of the facts that I don't remember is the midwife's name, possibly Connie... not certain. I went into labor on about

July 1, 1995 and went into the hospital at midnight.

Of course, the labor stopped when I got to the

labor / delivery unit.

Luckily for me, my water had 'broke' so they did admint me, which I wanted as I knew that

I didn't want to have to go home with any pain. I hadn't experienced child birth before and felt that - this labor pain period, was

great pain

. I didn't know pain yet... in my pregnancy, everyone's is different! If you are pregnant and reading this, please remember that everyone's pregnancy and birthing experience is different.

The active labor was long, I won't go into the details. My pelvis was small, (the doctor popped his head in every once in awhile, the 'doubting' doctor. After something like, ... well,

it was after midnight the doctor, for I think the third time, offered a Cesarean section... "C-Section" and I said, "whatever you want to do, just do it and hook me up to the anesthetic" and that was what we did.

My child was born at 2:06 a.m.

- and healthy. We were both healthy and happy.



To this very day I am glad for my sobriety, glad for that 'twelve step' fellowship,

and glad for my midwife! I'm also still of the knowledge and belief that I 'don't go on fear.' I 'do faith

and trust in a power greater than myself' which for me, is God in Jesus Christ.

And we are a happy and healthy family.

Just a quick reference to that doctor's words at my first follow-up visit. He suggested, spoke the words that, 'my pelvis was small because of my age.'

He didn't know that I have a sister who at the age of 26 and 27 years old had two C-sections, because her pelvis was 'too small.' Possibly my pelvic structure was small because of how I was made... nothing to do with my age. That makes sense to me.



My suggestion to anyone, experiencing pregnancy or at any part of life is,

not to go on fear. Go on faith, and trust... trust that God can and will do for you what you cannot do for yourself. Faith that God is in charge. One prayer that I learned early on in my sobriety was, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

I still go by those words today in 2013, they have never failed me.

Pray and trust God in everything

is something else that I try to share.

God Bless you and your family, today and every day.

Bye for now, Nancy